How to cultivate more self-love without feeling arrogant?

December 12, 2016

If someone had told me to go and “love myself more” a couple of years back, I would have given them a very strange sideward look, and a cheeky smile, with a “yeah right”! But in hindsight, if only I had known better! Having self-love is so important if you don’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to! That got it for me!

Have you heard those little voices niggling?

“How could I do that?”
“I look awful!”
”Why can’t I get it right?”

“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.”

~Caroline Kirk


Here is what I’ve learned and would like to pass on to you.

I want to challenge you this week to choose one from the five actions below and either write it on a piece of paper that you will see all the time or if you enjoy journaling you can use this space to remind yourself of what you want to focus on.

  1. Drop the self-judgement

It is time to accept yourself with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the not so sexy—all of it—and appreciating yourself “as enough”. Own your inner and outer beauty and feel comfortable giving yourself a compliment or be open to receiving compliments graciously without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled.

  1. Choosing mindfulness and staying present.

Listen to your feelings. Try and not preoccupy your time with mindless activities. Spend some quality, connected time with yourself instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet.

  1. Choose your mode of self-care

It is time to step up and take full responsibility for your health and well-being. Do what you love, and stick with it. Giving your body the care and attention it craves has so many rewards. Anti-aging, stress reduction, fewer doctors’ bills, and more rewarding relationships.

  1. Be your own best friend

When it comes to self-love it means choosing yourself, when you need to! If you are personally stretched and need time alone instead of accepting an invite out, do so. It might mean upsetting others and not being popular anymore, but feeling tired, overwhelmed will not serve you going forward. It also means building a life that you love and being comfortable to be on your own instead of relying on or waiting for your prince/princess to show up.

  1. Know what your limitations are and set those boundaries

Using discretion when sharing your heart, self, and dreams with others.

Boundaries build integrity and sincerity, they foster genuine and caring relationships. Don’t fall victim to dishonesty, manipulation, co-dependence, withholding, and pretence.

Loving and accepting the wholeness of yourself is a daily challenge, and there will be days when you question your focus.

As someone once said to me. “The battle is won in the struggle, not the victory”

No one else can offer the above things to us. No one else can take our vitamins or prevent us from going into a self-loathing attack. Even with wonderful support, others are not responsible to make us happy and feel loved unless we create the space for it inside by practising self-love.

Self-love can only be described as an inside job.

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